it's new yr's eve...... yupz 2004 is here in less than 9 hrs time.....

love 2003, really love it.... but one has to learn to look in front, move forward...... so.... I'M GOING TO MISS U, 2003!!

realise tat one's mood always influence ppl ard u, esp frenz...... so..... new yr's resolution, i shall stay as happy as i can...... but always ganna scold lame...... i am quite lame when cheerful.... lol nono, will change tat too......

happy new yr to all.......


3:24 PM

feeling withdrawn this few days..... don feel lk toking much le..... hmmmm 2004 coming le....... felt lk alot of things r left undone...... felt so useless..... hmmmmm


1:42 AM

christmas day has finally arrived...... had a v diff christmas eve today.... not the usual, rowdy, crowded, exciting christmas i had for the past few yrs, but a v quiet, peaceful, cold night.......

went to a grp of old frenz gathering be4 i head down to poly'z clickz bbq...... feeling was totally diff..... earlier one was rather awkward..... some, more talkative ones will have to keep coming out with some topics to say...... i guess the food wasnt really enuff thou...... but it was gd.... when i leave the house to go to the bbq, was actually glad...... guess i am totally out of the grp...... frenz come n go.... when one has to let go, he/she just has to.......... at least they have written a memorable chapter in my life......

guess i am a person with low confidence....... needed warm n full hearted welcoming from frenz, be4 i can convince myself tat i am needed, i have a place to stand somewhere...... quite an attention seeker? dono......

2004 is coming........ which was not v welcomed..... i love 2003...... thou the studies was v v stressful, but i love 2003...... this is the time where i noe where i stand, who are my frenz...... but when 2004 comez, some frenz will just leave again...... then will relive the dreadful experience again...... haiz..... forever frenz...? forever is a long long time........ how many in ur life actually stays all the way?


4:35 AM

just realise today, i have the serenity feeling........ in an uglier terms, no feeling, zombie...... lol

i actually lk this feeling..... no happiness, no sadness, no feeling! lol.... maybe it is christmas eve tmr? silent night?? lol the most peaceful n holy night of the 365 days....... but when having this feeling, i will look v tired or no strength..... lk not enuff slp or wat....... haha

just don't feel lk doing or saying or feeling anything at all................ love the night tonite......


12:44 AM

once, all were so closed...... do lotsa bold things, happy things together...... since when did the bond lossen? isit me? or isit u? but realised i am not alone..... realise i am not the onli one having this feeling...... 2 outcasts? or is there actually more in number? maybe i did not try hard enough to strenghten the bond, but there just isnt any point, is there?

the yrly even is nearing...... all i heard was just talks..... no more than tat...... talk is always easier than action, ain't it? from an excited, crowded occasion to fewer and fewer ppl, finally to an end of it....... sadz huh? life is no longer similar, aim is nowhere near, tots, frenz, behaviour, are all heaven n earth apart......... no more bond..... classmates? not even near to tat............


11:55 PM

finally reached my cosy hole in this world...... hee.. had a tiring day today..... went to several malls at town..... just to acc my fren on looking for a xmas gift for her fren...... thou i am wearing sports shoe, windy, in fact rainy day...... still felt v tired....

met my fren, she was late, as usual, and i was rather on time(not usual)! lol...... so i went to walk ard PS..... not really ARD the mall...... just manage to cover the basement, coz i almost went into all the shops while waiting for my fren...... not a bad time thou! din get lost in the maze-like mrt station, and best of all settled the xmas present....... so now i am left with a bday gift for my cousin......

was quite early when we decided to head home, so i decided to 'take my time' and took the long bus ride home..... rain was quite heavy when i neared my house...... but still i decided to take a stroll in the rain...... just love the feeling..... few ppl on the street, or else they were taking an umbrella, just seems lk i am in my own world.... lol.... so i took the short, wet stroll back to my blk.... and the best thing is, the wrapping paper with me came back with me dry n perfectly well kept! lol am i great or wat?!? hahahaha


11:58 PM

saw the news of a new special breed of a butterfly a few days ago on the tv..... it is abt this special butterfly which was born with both the male n female breeding organs....... the ppl were so excited, claiming tat this is the first time since 20 yrs from the opening of the butterfly garden, which is in sentosa, tat such butterfly appears................. so sicko are these ppl............

i just felt tat they are so selfish, so sicko! the butterfly died hrs after borned, yet those ppl were sighing tat they din get to see how the butterfly will fly with its unbalanced wings....... and say it is a waste coz these type of butterflies can't breed, thus this specie will extinct........... damn these ppl! all they tot of is they wan to know more abt these butterflies...... these are nothing but animals...... they do not think in terms of the butterflypoint of view! damn it! and those were the ppl who will claim tat they love the nature.......

imagine today the scenario is not on a butterfly but on a human............ wat will they feel when scientists, or doc says tat they shd let the child grow up and see how he leeds his life....... or rather says tat shd clone him out so tat this type of 'specie' of human will not extinct................... how will tat be lk?!

argh! so angry....... haiz..... btw today sux for mi..... too lazy to write all ovr again wat happen today..... so just forget it.....


10:51 PM

parents went for hol again the past wk end..... stay at home on fri nite, then went to fren'z house on sat nite........
drove alot.... fri, am a driver for the whole day...... then sat n sun also keeps driving ard..... sianz....

din do much at fren'z house...... play comp, cards, ps........... din slp too.... more lk a torturing nite?! lol.... then in the morning, went out to eat, drive up to a hill...... lol dono wat place, isit farar park......?? erm dono lar.............. we wanted to see a legendary sadako well, but can't find it, and ended up looking at ants!! but v interesting! they were just lk the movie, antZ, there's army ants, worker ants........ then all in orderly manner one! keke.....

when we were heading home, i sent my 2 buddz home....... but instead of heading home, we went mandai crematorium..... the place is not bad...... quiet, but the atmosphere was quite heavy..... oh well..... then as driving out of mandai, we saw a 'lake'...... it was soooooo calm n quiet, so we decided to find the entrance to it......

went to zoo, but can't find the entrance to the 'lake'! so after circling ard, nat found out from map it is actually upper seletar...... keke.... and so we go..... nice place.............................. no more words can be used to descirbe......

after dropping the gals off, i was on my way home.... din realise i was really v tired....... the car was auto, road was straight, long way to go........... so i almost doze off!! was nodding my head in the car when it was going on 110! damn! then the car travelling lk a snake..... heng, the traffic was not heavy..... damn man! nvr knew it was so dangerous, tot i could stay awake...... over confidence in myself ba........... haiz if really accident, then parents and frenz wont see mi here now or ever again.....................


1:09 AM

hmmm..... feel lk writing.... but dono write wat..... hmmm

k today v tired... going to slp


11:49 PM

din have any program today, so i stayed at home the whole day..... had been dragging the chore of painting my room for wks....... so decided to start on my work after i wake up..... well, actually wanted to wake up earlier....... but....... hahaha oh well

din eat anything and i started work.... stomach was growling madly when i was halfway throu my targeted area...... lol..... but there's nothing in my house.... so grab 2 pieces of bread, coffee.... and back to work...... wow really tough work!! all alone, have to climb up n down the ladder...... have to move the heavy stuffs ard..... and the painting work.... damn, so tired......

hurhur, but was v happy today! hurhurhur...... so tiring, but looking at the final result, 1/3 of room completed, i am soooo happy...... keke............ then when painting, there's onli peace in my whole mind..... no worries, no boredom, no unhappiness.......... so nice.... i realise this is a gd form of exercising cum gd way to vent any anger tat u might have on ur mind...........

hurhur sometimes life is nice to be just as simple as small activities lk painting the house, ain't it?


9:59 PM

3rd consecutive day, i went for shopping...... lol but today i actually had the mood, and bought quite alot of things........ maybe it has to do with the shopping companion......... lol (some ppl: don't swell, hoh.....) actually it has got nothing to do with the different ppl whom i going shopping with.... i think din enjoy much during the first 2 days is bcoz my frenz' whole mind is with their steads ba...... tat's y not much mood to shop..... lol

damn tired now..... heart pain too..... spend soooooo much..... and i haven buy xmas gifts supposedly for frenz...... -_-'



You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



1:03 AM

went out shopping today...... din buy anything, so was my shopping trip the day be4..... haiz.... all the things looks the same to me! not much mood too i guess.......... but i bought my perfume thou....

did a quick shop, get my fren'z things, then we head down to orchard so as to pass the gift to her bf........ wow, bday + xmas present, cost her 145 bucks! lol..... somemore it is on toys! lol..... if i did not rem wrongly.... it is call: hellrider..... some collector's items ba....... freaky toys! all so sadist..... guess is this stupid world driving alot of ppl towards the sadist side.........

then went round far east..... still din fancy any stuffs, lol...... then in the end, slack at the Mac near the shaw towers, with her bf n fren........ haaaa so happening huh?! am quiet almost all the way.... wat's new, there's a stranger ard.... lol..... so i sort of stone, look ard at the passers-by...... alot of amusing ppl thou! the way they dress, the way they act............

my day was okok...........................................


3:03 AM

thinking back on the very first day i step into polytechnic, until this day, i just realise tat my life in poly was actually running in a circle..... lol

i rem in the beginning, when i was still v shy, a loner in the sch, i rem lynn, fiona, nat always ask me to join them when in classes....... then as time goes, i get into a click with elaine, gear, fiona........ then i change again, clicking with mj, jing, suzi......... now, i got close to fiona n nat again................. hmmmm ain't it a circle?! lol

i rem who i am close with, but wat leads to these changes was lost in somewhere in my mem.... lol.... forever lk this, rite?! i heard there's this saying tat, poly frenz nv stays, these frenz just wouldn't last..... the frenz u had in the end will be ur sec sch frenz............ hmmmm how true is this saying, i dono..... but it did came true, at least half of it did... as can see from my whole 2 1/2 yrs of poly life...... lol come n go come n go...... lucky for mi thou, i am happy at every stage, every moment.... lol really did.....


12:36 PM

saw this a while ago in mirc(v funny!):
* BoNz[A] has quit IRC (Quit (I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "you're next!". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.))

sosososo sianz...... i have no life.... T_T suddenly have this urge to be lk the past, withdrawn myself from everyone, everything..... lol.......

i've always heard ppl saying: "don't u party?? aiyo u've got no life man..... get some life!"
hmmmm y has partying link to got life or no life? wat's life anw???
but even if i did party, i still find myself no life...... even worse?! so wat if u party every month, wk, day?! onli throwing ur money for some music n light n alcohol n second hand smoke to get u high for tat few hrs....... the nxt moment, nxt day, ain't u on the ground still..... so the question is still back to: WAT IS TO HAVE LIFE?!


2:11 AM