suddenly have this urge to blog...... so here am i....
having strange dreams recently.... mum says mayb becoz i gb too much...?! lol might be.... all the nightmares on animals too!! got spiders crawling down my hair onto body, mice crawling all over, and even snakes all over the place.... eeeee the tot of it is enuff to make my hairs stands....
ok enuff af the disturbing tots.... suddenly was thinking abt frenz...... actually more of humanz ba...... someday, sometime, some moment, will u suddenly tot of all the ppl ard u, tat are they as true as wat u are seeing?! who is wearing a mask n who are not?! who is a hypocrite? or who is a back-stabber?! or maybe who is true to u? how long will this frenz stay with u as u move along ur life?
sianz sianz...... someone asks me wats wrong with me, even thou i act v v crazily....... this sets me thinking.... am i really feeling sadz?
i am not happy..... so am i sad? or i am not unhappy.... so i am happy??


1:41 AM

today, i am suppose to mit up with my sec sch frenz today, but decided against it the moment i wake up...... dont noe y.... always sort of feel out of place when out with them.... maybe it is my own problem ba... maybe i just felt inferior when standing with them, mayb i just lost the feeling of going out with them anymore..... sigh.....
thinking back, memories are always so sweet, so nice...... brings back smiles n laughter...... but ppl changes, environment changes, time just change everything....... sigh.....
was out on fyp celebration with our teacher in charge, leon. had dinner, then went to a cup of coffee...... he was right that when one grows older, they become more practical, more polluted by the society's standard........ love no longer becomes pure, innocent lk it suppose to be when u were young...... but he doesn't realise.... we gals are already half-way towards tat polluted mind...... sad, but true..... but i have a strong faith for the word love..... i am searching for tat pure, innocent rs....... searching, searching.............


2:19 PM

am scared, v scared..... nv had i ever this kind of feeling be4.... so scared of somthing tat tears come when i thought of it....... i am scared of losing my granmother....
human are forever this cheap..... a person will nvr be tat important, tat popular, when they are alive..... it will always be until they are gone.... forever.... tat he/she becomes important, popular..... aint this shown on alot of artist, singers, etc..... when i heard tat grandmother might be leaving.... thou not from the mouth of doctor, tat my aunts n uncles are preparing themselves mentally..... i shivered....
thou i am not close with my grandmother, thou i do not show my care n concern when she was in front of me, i don wan her to leave...... no... i don wan...... T.T


4:42 PM

came back from my 6 days stay at batam..... first time in my life, stayed there so long.....
was glad i decided to stay back after my frenz went back to spore...... had a v nice time to relax my mind, no need to think of anything, eat, slp, jalan jalan, drink, stone....... ya v v relax...... had a great time stoning! whahaha
another thing tat am glad i went, was tat i confirm some thoughts i had in mind for months.... relieved........... :D
ok more details abt this trip another day ba..... tired cum lazy to type...... still don lk to see computer screen...... after effect of fyp..... haaa


12:01 AM