am falling sick.... din know y, when i reach sch, my troat suddenly hurts damn lot... then sore throat till i can't talk... and i still can't tok now.... haiz... the feeling sux when u can't tok..... and my fren ask me to shutup!!! :< lol... I wanna go KTV leh..... haiz.....
Seems lk it is a bad period where alot of ppl are falling sick.....


10:09 PM

*phew i was so lucky earlier..... Just as i reached bedok mrt station, and was coming out from the underground, was actually going to take a puff.... then suddenly i had this tot tat, wat if my bro happens to be ard n saw me..... so natuarally i turned ard to look.... soooooooo coincidently, my bro was standing on the escalator beside mine behind me!!!! so scary..... real shock... if he was further away from me, i might not see him, coz i wasn't wearing my glasses!!!! *phew* I wonder do i have psychic power or isit just woman's sixth sense!!

went to coffee bean after badminton today.... hmm i almost forgotten the nice feeling of sitting ard, slacking away ovr a nice cup of coffee... heee not bad a day.... and then i went to mit my frenz and went to their hostel to have a look..... i really envy them for staying outside, but not the part tat u have to washed ur own clothes.... and no air-con, public toilet, and no time alone.... lol Guess tat's y chalets tat last for 3 days is always gd.... coz too long a stay will mean bored, bored, bored.....

Ntu is soooooo big..... and cold... maybe bcoz i felt inferior compared to university students, but i don lk the feeling there.... just felt tat one will be forced to grow old in tat environment.....


12:34 AM

today was both a maddening yet happy day for me..... earlier was so fustrated with my fren for being irresponsible.... at least in my eyes.... Then after i went to zoo, see the damn funny sealion show, i was happy again... then we went to see the penguins..... they r soooo cute... don mind adopting one, if i can!
tot my rest of the day will be well.... but it was too early an assumption....! i was supposed to bring my granma to market then to my uncle's house early this morning.... this was lk the first time of something lk this..... and me n her was lk chicken n duck toking..... n he expect me to be so clever.... so experienced.... everything mus be done to his espectation, any wrong is MY fault..... screw him! i know it was my fault tat my granny fall.... but i din know! i din know i shd always, in every second holding on to her! HEY, i'm still a newbie! it is ur mum! for goodness sake... not mine! stop pushing all the responsibility to take care of UR mum to my mum or me!!!! fuck

the other time was toking with frenz abt being fillial, and my fren says guys were more fillial than gals nowadays... so guys r no long qi liao bi. How much truth r there in this? This doesnt seem to happen in my family! it is always my fault, my responsibility, my job to associate with relative, elderly.... and bro is always the one who gets exempted! wat shit is this?! he got the higher pocket money, btr treatment, more respect from the elderly..... but in the end i am suppose to do all the jobs tat they think: guys will not do this kind of thing one lar.... gals more fillial.... fuck u! if u really think tat from the bottom of ur heart, y is there such unfairnesS?! hate my family... hate hate hate! gals do all works, but guys had more power!
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh

mood: sucky


11:48 PM

today is a boring day, so let's juz forget abt today....

heard from radio abt the way diff astro signs react to stress, few days ago.... notice Aquarious is the longest n most detailed astro, tat is becoz its MY sign.... lol... n i have a short term mem... so this is all i can rem.... sorry to those not mentioned

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aquarious
when u faced stress, u r calm n deal everything easily n carefully.... In other's eyes, it is like boh chup attitude, but actually u r being pessimistic... accept n resolve any problems that comes ur way.... Therefore, u r the middleman between ur frenz for most of the time... And also bcause of this character, u r always forgotten by frenz, onli rem when they have trouble.... However when u "exploded", no one can calm u down.... Frenz shd show care n concerns at time lk this, and u will then strived forward
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pieces
when there's stress, u tend to be careless n do things roughly..... This is bcoz of in times of stress, ur sub-conscious will automatically "freeze" the part of problem and thus, u will complete ur work without facing certain issues that is important.... meaning u will run away from problems tat is giving u stress....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leo
in times of stress, ur temper will be v bad..... and result in causing people ard u to be mad at u.... bcoz of the pride in u, family members or close frenz who offered to help will be rejected by u...... people ard Leo shd be patient, tolerate n how care to Leos


10:13 PM

comp's finally back in shape.... so i can start work already.... haiz i sense the stress coming.....

touch 3D max just a while ago.... and i realised i had forgotten every thing learned in yr2.... :< haiz.... abit scared of going back to do it now.... stressed....
i realised our fyp is going too slow.... have onli 5 months or so to profuce a prototype.... and i haven experiment on the codes, the interface was not done, music was not touched...... so much more to do and seems lk everybody has not much of an idea on going abt it...... argh.... this fyp decides our fate man.... STRESS.....

mood: autistic :\


12:29 AM

yea web1000 finally works.... lol New pic for my webby..... can't think of different layout tho.... heee

hmmm read a novel earlier.... there's this sentence: onli close family members will quarrel... i guess this also applies to frenz ba.... Quarrelling is hurting, maddening... but isn't it btr than silence? silence bet frenz, family members, can only mean the feeling is not strong... something is missing.... while quarrelling means u mean alot to each other.... tat's y there r conflicts, misunderstanding.... isn't this btr?

looking back... seems lk i don have any quarrels with frenz..... hmmm haha.... guess i am a person who will keep things to myself n when things calms down.... everyone forgives n forgets automatically... lol


1:08 PM

4th day tat i can't connect to web1000 liao.... seems lk i'm fated to not change this interface of webby.... lol

went to orchard to take pict today.... then went to catch 2fast2furious... heeee it was a nice show.... hunks, gorgeous, n best of all the cars!! altho i think comparing to the chinese movie of racing cars, the chinese way of filming is more exciting n real.... haahaa But well this show's got hunkS!! lol

realised tat people always say some straightforward things right into the face of others..... hmmm some might think tat: "we r frenz... so i shd be frank with u..." Well, i think in some way, yes.... But in another way, have u ever try to stand in others position to think abt the words u've said? Maybe to the one saying is honest, frankness..... but to other? its hurt, hurt n hurt...... maybe some people will say: "u tell mi lar... i can take it...." but i guess somethings will stay in one's heart lk some stains on shirt, it will nv be washed away so the shirt is ruined or mayb to be discarded? hmmm i'm not suggesting frenz shd not be frank with each other, but there's always some way to tell things, to say out some things n not hurting others at the same time?


12:19 AM

the connection to the web1000 always seems to give me problem.... wanted to upload to my webby but there's connection err... haiz.... Actually wanted to go swimming today.... but there's this FYP meeting.... so sianz n tired....

Yesterday was quite a happy day.... drove for practically the whole day, going ard to take pictures for the FYP proj.... heee i got horned twice... meaning almost bwang twice.... lol.. then in the end when i'm going home from yishun, i got lost in TAMP!! haha Tamp was a v big place~! and the road signs were lk: tamp ave wat ave wat...... as if i know ave wat is at where!!! well so following my guts, i decided to drive straight.... missed a few "rightful" turns! but finally it still links back to bedok! lol... heng...

i have realised recently tat when i am thinking real hard of something, it will "appear".... hmmm for example, when i was thinking or rather missing someone, tat person will suddenly calls or sms me! lol the same goes to small things lk where i wanna go or wat i wanna eat.... hmmm i won't say it is some super power or wat..... maybe there's just some sort of telepathy power between everyone of us out there...... *shrug*


7:26 PM

haiz sooo bored today... all frenz seems so busy on wk ends.... haiz..... anywayz i am searching for a new song for this boggie, any from out there?!

tried this.....
Your past life diagnosis:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Ireland around the year 1400.
Your profession was that of a banker, usurer, moneylender or judge.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Bohemian personality, mysterious, highly gifted, capable to understand ancient books. With a magician's abilities, you could have been a servant of dark forces.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



10:53 PM

haiz so fucking irritated with myself.... i'm suppose to go to the tutorial class at 3 today, but when i was on my way on train, i realise i forgot my lanyard! shit! Not wanting to go to sch as a visitor, i decided to turn back..... needless to say, i missed my tutorial.... :< haiz.... i had wanted to played badminton in the sch so much, got everything ready, and yet i am so careless! argh! So bek cek tat i decided not to go back to sch liao..... i'm so sorry, my dear friends..... i don mean to put u guys aeroplane..... especially to fiona.. heee soo sorry...

today is a bad day! comp can't start at first... then i found out tat is the zip drive's problem...! it btr not be spoiled.... i wonder if it is still under guarantee.... haiz haiz haiz.....

mood: sad :<<<


6:21 PM

ok finally got all the s/w i wanted installed except illustrator n dir..... haiz there's so much prob with my comp but i decided to make do with it...... hope it doesnt come crashing down during the "busy" weeks!

finally watched chemistry today..... after tons of weeks, i felt lost with the show! damn stupid.... i mean the show! it turned out tat the dj n guy n exchanging of souls n everything is juz a show....... tat means chemistry is a show showing them making a show called chemistry! .......!haiz... such a letdown...

bachelorette was great today..... heee it was the episode where the 23 rejected bachelors were brought back! haiz all the stupid BOYS were crapping abt the shits only when they were rejected.....! n when trista appeared, all the words seems to be stuck somewhere in the troat! haha! hmmm think all the guys out there i lk the Bob the best..... he is one of the few who is willing to admit tat it hurts to be rejected, n not "tok big" lk all the others! Ryan is a real romantic guy.... n not abit lk the rest......! heee haiz..... 23 guys! n onli one is a gd one........!!! how this reflects the world man.....


11:34 PM

boring boring day.... haiz had actually planned to go around to take pictures for the FYP and in the end i realised i had dental appointment.... so irritating..!! :< this is not the first time it has caused my plans to be cancelled..... damn it!

juz recieved the letter from sp saying tat gals MUZ take NAPFA be4 end of this yr for our grad nxt june.... :< sigh... i'm going to fail big time... :< if fail, then will reflect in cert, then employer will see, then bad impression..........

mood: moody


9:41 PM

hmmm been doing some thinking again......... i realised some ppl are so easy n free to praise another abt anything at all..... i mean, for me i find it quite hard to say out praises... even tho things were gd, i wouldnt or rather couldn't say out the praises just lk tat...... hmmm y huh? In the end i know i do offend quite a number of ppl at times.... not many ppl can shrug off comments as jokes..... well at least for me most of the time wat i say wasn't serious.... hmm words are just used to suan, but it turned out to be hurting......... :< ......argh dono how to express things out... more i say the worse it gets... and the messier things will become...

went Karaoke after sch today..... :> Then as we about to leave the place, we went to the toilet..... my fren went into the boy's toilet and he was all "alone", so he said.... As the cubicles were all dirty, he decided to use the urine stand? not sure wat isit call.... well u know the ones in the boy's toilet...! Anywayz, as he was doing his business half-way, he heard the sound of someone urine in the cubicle!!! REM, he was supposed to be the only being in the toilet! so freaking scary! so he quikly finished his business n run out of the toilet! as he was out, he heard the toilet flushed! OMG!!! lol..... guess whoever or rather watever is in there also needs to do HIS business! hmmm i was wondering if "he" has decided to follow my fren home??? haha juz wondering....


12:31 AM

my darling is finally formated... haiz.... but i tot i could juz format my C drive, then some stupid disk i have and cause everything to be gone..... :< she me dou mei le

went to swim this morning.... been a long time i managed to get my heavy butt to swim alone..... haha coz my will is weak man..... well i'm glad i did went swimming today afterall...... i found out tat my stamina is ABIT better...! lol Then i sun tan in the warm sun for ard one hr?! well it was soooo comfortable tat i almost fall aslp heee. Think i fall in love with sun tanning already... ;p After which i went to the library.... had to return a couple of bks and manage to find the bk for director 8.5...... altho i think i need to deal with dir mx instead, but there's onli bk on 8.5 available... and i just wanted to lingo for help.......

Think either i was too hungry, or overworked, or too tired, i felt faint in the library..... but i hang on n force myself not to faint.... Today was a great compliment for me! Din onli went swimming alone, i went to do a small shopping n even eat out alone! haha..... cause i alwasy had a thing abt eating out alone man....... wat to do when there really is no1 to accompany?! hmmm sometimes i wonder..... where r my frenz? or do i have any........

there's this question been on my mind..... people always says: there's onli a thin line between love and hate, u will hate some1 is because u love him.... altho i do believe this sentence, but i was wondering..... does it also means tat when u love somebody, u hate him too??? haha wat do u think?!


1:04 AM

wow i juz love the weather today... if i can walk on the road for the whole day, think i wouldn't hesitate...! This type of cool wind seems to have the magic power to blow all worries available away.... leaving me with the pure n peaceful feeling inside..... heee

went to Fila shop today.... well, i just don feel lk going home straight after school today so i went ahead, n also to find my fren working in fila..... heee manage to get a small bag for 20 bucks.... i also winders if it is too ex for tat size! but who cares..... lol I love one of the cap there.... it was really nice man! but it cost ard 50 bucks after a 15% discount! man! :< well my fren promised to ask for a btr price.... well i bought another big red bag too, but was from my fren, coz there was no more stock n she happens to own one.... heee n a polo Tee and maybe a Tee too.... well all the stuffs r taken note by my fren liao..... heee so nice to have a fren working as salesgal in a branded shop....!


10:35 PM

hehe got back from yet another chalet.... well think i go there is just to meet up with the guys.... coz is lk for months since i last see them..... hmmm guess we have a distance between us..... either i am distancing myself from them, or this is something natural..... coz all of them r going NTU soon....... was strange at first to be in tat group again.....
well, i was suppose to go there after i changed, but then it was raining, and they told me earlier they were at town, so i tot of switching on my darling to "fix" the stupid worm.... then they suddenly called to say they were already at city hall..... so my plan to mit them to go to pasi ris was forgo.... so i tot of waiting for the rain to stop while "fixing" the bug, and it turn out to be 8 when i left my house..... oh well.... then as i was abt to go to a nearby cheers to buy the chips n drinks, they called to ask mi to buy dinner..... then blah blah blah...... I am on the bus to the chalet.... which i tot was at costa sands..... walk all the way in with so many HEAVY things, it turned out tat it was NTUC chalet! wtf! and when i called them, the attitude was lk...!! argh! guess they noe i am abit angry, so when i walk into the chalet, tons of apologies was welcoming me! haha oh well.. wat r frenz for.....

think i wasnt contacting them for quite some time, so i forgotten this closer fren of mine has a lousy attitude when toking on the fone! forever! argh!! always cause ppl to misunderstand when toking to her on the fone..... ahhhh forget it.... i did have quite a nice time at the ltr part of the chalet..... at least be4 i go home.... heee


1:38 AM

yes! finally i din miss the bachelorette when i am at home.... but i still missed chemistry....! shuckz.....:< Russ is finally off this game in this epi! haha yea! trista, u r so smart...... Anywayz, i am really surprised by her.... she is so brave as to accept 2 guys at one time! hmmm she had sex with Ryan and Charlie.... i felt that one cannot actually fall for 2 person at the same time.... but she did.... and i do admire her! lol guess these 2 dates she really let her emotion ruled her mind.... under all the romantic, and mind blowing atmosphere..... who can blame her?

people is always pushing watever they think is right, or wat should be done onto another person's life...... don't they understand not everybody will think as they do? or did they really try to stand in different positions to look at the situation from both side of life?! Don't think tat just because u r older, or even thinking urself as the more mature ones, then can u have tat power to put thoughts into others....... one will nv learn when one nv falls, maybe the fall will be great, will be painful, but one will learn something valuable from there...... and the things learn might not be the same as urs..... coz everybody's mind is different.... tat is wat makes everybody different from everybody else


11:45 PM

haiz.... the stupid web1000 has been giving me a real headache for ard 2 days! don know wth is wrong with it.... i swear i going to change it if it gives me problems lk this again..... >:|
think i am having some bad luck with IT stuffs lately! not onli is this webby having problem! my stupid comp is also giving me attitude.... argh! it says mem is not enough..... watever shit.... then icq can't work now.... haiz..... But luckily i've been having gd luck with my life lately.... haha at least nothing unhappy been happening recently... haha

Got my new glasses yesterday...... hmmm i wonder if i dare to wear it..... it is so....... dono how to describe... haha. Went to my buddy's chalet yesterday..... hehe been some time since we had a "complete" gathering... meaning everybody is there! altho there's onli four of us.... exclusive of theirs bfs, gfs....... haha Altho we r supposed to be the xtras, not really supposed to be there, we had a hell out of time..... haha after which i went to drive ard with nick.... haha darn it, i stopped for traffic lights but he asked me to go ahead!! and imagine i inched thro the traffic on red lights!!! hahaha teach me bad onli......!! but it was a really nice night...... reach home ard 2.....! tonite i'm gonna get my deserved scoldings, i guess...... but tat is if i'm at home..............!! ;p


3:21 PM

had a serious stomach cramp yesterday.... cause mi to be trapped at home the whole day! haiz..... don't know why these few months my stomach cramps are so damn serious! last for ard 2 days and made mi cried n feel lk dying each time.....haiz.....

i was so bored today.... so i did an Astro reading.... its a program that is attached in an email from fren... here goes:

AQUARIUS IN A NUTSHELL
The sign of the Inventor, the Seeker of the Truth
Personality: Honest, popular, amiable, truth-seeking, hesitant, inefficient, humane yet suspicious, rebellious, intuitive, broad-minded and unbiased.
Positive Qualities: Honest and truth seeking, humane and caring, creative and intuitive, broad-minded, popular and amiable.
Negative Qualities: Erratic and whimsical, inefficient, eccentric, changing, unconventional and rebellious, hesitant.
PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER
Compassionate in nature - can be generous to a fault. Fixed ideas and aims. Needs plenty of space and freedom. Impersonal, has trouble with intimacy. The sign of brotherhood. Independent, realistic, practical about home. Originality, intuitiveness. Daring mentality. An idea 'pioneer' - perhaps faddist. Invention, aviation, computers, automobiles, astrology, New Age - anything new, old or different appeals to them. Humanitarian. Altruistic - but sometimes deeply self-centered. The club-joiner.
DECAN INSIGHT
You belong to the Third Decan of Aquarius (February 10 - February 18).
Your ruler is Venus. It makes you attractive to the opposite sex and romantic, but this may lead to much heartburn and misunderstanding. You can appreciate both the beauty and utility of any plan or enterprise. Your restlessness makes it difficult for you to relax.
AQUARIUS LOVE MYSTERY
Your detachment and tendency to probe and examine too deeply stands in the way of your forming lasting attachments. Your emotions are actually sensual rather than sexual. You also have a love for the strange and bizarre which can prevent you from giving happiness to your mate. It is not that you cannot love deeply and sincerely - it is your need for change that may cause trouble. For this reason, marriage is not really your strong point, as a tie or bonding is not meant for you. You may outgrow a marriage, causing much heartbreak in the process. You want the freedom to go your own way, do what you want, and will resent possessiveness and interference, rebelling at the ties. However, you enjoy the interplay and counterpoise of thoughts and ideas and will welcome a flexible union with complete freedom and understanding. A tall order, but you may be lucky!
SEXUAL CHARACTERISTICS
Sex plays an important role in the life of every man and woman. It lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to revere life until we know how to understand sex. Indian astrological science attributes certain sexual characteristics to persons according to the sign under which they have been born.
You are a healthy-minded person, average, and well balanced in your sex life, never making exorbitant demands.
AS A FRIEND
You will always give both guidance and warmth. Basically you are a better counselor than friend with your objectivity and detachment. Yours is the sign of friendship, so even though emotionally involved you can visualize problems clearly.


5:54 PM

just came back from the chalet yesterday... hmmm it was not bad. Well, i guess i won't go into details on the things we've done... there's just so many things haha. I love the feeling when cycling especially when the cool wind blew in ur face...... but this time is so damn special! we actually cycled in the rain..... it is no small rain man, it was a heavy and cold downpour..... nvr did we tried anything so crazy be4. hahaha..... but the feeling is good.... On the morning of 2nd day, some of us went swimming, haha.... love the water man... a good damn way to destress and relax. the swimming pool actually has glasses on the bottom and one side of the pool, so if u swim pass glasses without realising, people at the entrance of chalet can see u, just lk when u went to the under water world to see the FISHES! hahaha after which we went sun tanning.... the sun was so damn strong.... but it felt so warm.... for the first time, i don't felt hot in this strong sun yet is warm deep into the bone.... nice feeling... i know i almost fall aslp in this warm bed in less than 10 min.... however we gals decided 10 min is enuff... and we did turnned black! haahaaa...... Well most of our time we spent was playing "99" in the chalet.... forfeit is drinking water n wine! well the funniest part is to see others forcing all the water down their throat! haha the guys were full of crap, sooo funny sia.... had a very good laughter everytime.... guess everyone was hooked on the game now...........

heee was really happy i went to chalet, at least i know more abt some of the poly frens.... and they were fun lot... however there were of coz alittle unhappiness happening here and there....... well i can only say nobody's perfect and not to take things seriously..... It seems lk during my poly life, for every long hols, the grp of frens hanging out with always changes! haha these are people tat leave a small chapter in ur book of life...... hopefully those i treasured do not belong to this type of people....... Now who says U can't find any true/real frens who will stay by u in poly. i can't confirm if i had found any..... but i hope those in my mind are the ones...... hahha

hmmm got my new sem timetables last nite...... alot of people was grumbling abt it.... but i'm not sure abt it.... guess alot of time was allocated to us for our FYP. means no cher, no attendance, no lessons............ lol. however there's lesson on sat! darn it...... and i think i saw a 2 hr break in between somewhere! this is shitty...... guess we can go swimming huh? or badminton......
Stressful sem!! oh ya... heard tat cig had increased in price again! the government just knew tat people can't quit, increasing will mean more income for them! damn it! don't know y were they chosen for every electives! they were just an old bunch of vampires man! sucking u all they can, but gives u a little bit of sweets just be4 the electives....... y? y? y? R singaporeans stupid or wat?! argh......


11:32 AM

ok, someone pushing me for this blog to start working.... so for her sake i will write this post k?! heee

It always seems to me tat frenz onli come to me whenever they r troubled, sometimes i felt being used, those can onli gong huan nan bu neng gong kuai le type of people..... however whenever i am in peace or rather not having a lousy mood, i realise these r the frenz tat r close to me..... People willing to bear their hearts out to u only means tat they trust u, felt comfortable with u, but those who doesnt tell u their troubles does not mean tat they don't trust u.... sometimes somethings are juz so difficult to be put into words, or to tell people who r related to the source of trouble.

To mi, i think tat the best medicine to trouble is laughter..... we can easily find a ear to listen to troubles, but will u feel btr? maybe u will.... to mi wat i need is a gd laugh.... even if it takes my attention off awhile, but after which i still feels btr, felt more pessimistic too.... maybe not all people feels the same, but maybe u can give it a try.... thou there's always a limit to joke or clown ard when people are telling u their troubles k........


1:12 PM